6.2 Why Did It Happen to Me?

I was born in Northern Ireland and I worked as a policeman at the height of the troubles. This was a tough period for communities all over Northern Ireland and, in the midst of all the turmoil and violence, I survived three separate bomb blasts. During the third blast, I nearly lost my arm and the doctors told me afterwards that I really should have died. My elbow was shattered and the bottom half of my arm was just held on by flesh. The surgeons recommended that they amputate the arm but I believed that God could restore it. I was sent to 3 hospitals before a surgeon agreed to try but said there would be no function left at all. But today, against all the odds, I have full use of it. I was then medically released from the Police believing I had been through the worst. But 5 years later travelling home from a birthday party with my wife and two daughters, we were in a tragic car accident with another vehicle. My wife and my youngest daughter were killed and my eldest daughter was paralysed down one side. When I woke up after ten days in a coma, I was told that I had died at least five times on the way to the hospital. My skull was damaged, my eye socket, nose, jaw, shoulder and ribs were broken and my lung was punctured. The surgeon told my family that I wouldn’t make it. While I was in the coma, I had an encounter. Now I know that this will seem ‘out there’ for many people but, in a very real way, I experienced Jesus. I was overwhelmed with a sense of his love and his peace. When I came to, my mum broke the news to me of my wife and daughter and, to be honest, I just wanted to sink back into the coma but hearing of my eldest daughter made me fight to survive and to heal. I cannot even begin to explain the depth of heartache that I experienced long after that day. The encounter I had with Jesus didn’t fix everything or give me all the answers but it did make a difference in two crucial ways: I came to know that Jesus is present in my suffering and through the full restoration of my body and my little girl, I came to know that God was bigger than my suffering. Five weeks to the day after the accident, I was walking side by side with my 4-year-old girl and we were both on a journey towards hope and restoration. Now I don’t know your story, or what your experience of suffering has been. Maybe it’s been similar to my friend David. From my experience though, people with the best of intentions can say the worst thing. Like maybe you’ve just had a bad breakup and someone will say, ‘It’s grand! You’ll get over it, there’s plenty more fish in the sea' You just want to firstly scream, I hate fish! And secondly, I DON’T WANT TO GET OVER IT!! Or they’ll say something like, ‘Everything is going to be just fine.’...really?! And I know I might sound a bit harsh, but all you want to tell them is to shut up, because you don’t want things to be OK. You don’t want things to change. You just want to go back to the way things were! People have good hearts and good intentions but sometimes their words are the problem. What we all need to realise and come to terms with is that, during times of suffering, we need to say less and offer our support by just being there. In the Gospel of John, Jesus’ friends Mary and Martha send word to him that their brother, Lazarus, is really sick and things don’t look good. They are his friends and they know him well enough to send for him when their world is falling apart. By the time that Jesus gets there, however, Lazarus is already dead. The family have prepared and wrapped his body. They have wept and held a funeral. And they have put his body in a tomb. As Jesus walks towards the house, Mary and Martha both say the same thing to him but separately and at different times. ‘If only you had been here, Lazarus would still be alive.' You and I have said that too, maybe not in those words, but we share the sister’s accusation that God was not present and not involved. Jesus doesn’t defend himself. He doesn’t get angry. He doesn’t say, ‘I’m God and I can do whatever I want.' Instead, we’re told that Jesus wept. Now, if you have heard of Lazarus or know of his story, you’ll know that Jesus goes on to raise him from the dead. The miracle is coming; and their situation is about to change. But yet, in the middle of their grief, and their pain their anger and their tears, Jesus weeps with them and shares in their pain. This is what I've come to know about how God responds to suffering and it's something that my friend David experienced...Jesus is God who not only suffered for us but who also suffers with us.