Uninvited Guests

- Why? Why are you here? - Can't an ex-wife drop by for coffee? Oh, hey, Murray. - Go ahead, ignore me. You always were narcissistic. - You, you, Murray! You were always the dead weight! I carried you around for eight years! - Yeah, after you sailed off with the business equity. - The Cayman Islands were ripe for investment. I told you that! - Yeah, you told your lawyer who told me that. By the way, I see the bankruptcy hasn't hurt you any. I lost everything. - Well, you got to keep the charming personality, so that's a win, huh? - Boys! Ugh, enough with the shouting. The hangover hasn't gone away yet. Ugh, ugh. Is that coffee ready? - Rachel, no, you can't be here right now. No, not now! Not now! - So is that the girl Phil cheated on you with? - Rachel. - Oh, no, her name was Sheri, and she was skinnier. - Actually, it's Teri, but thanks for noticing. - Rachel. - It's true. Turn sideways and you'd disappear. - Ah, go on. Disappear like Phil? - Hey, Phil and I are like so totally in love, and he's gonna leave his wife... very soon, and we're gonna get married. - Aww. - What's so funny? - Oh, honey, he's never going to leave her. - Aw, you're cute. - One of many. - You really are precious. - Oh. - Can I get a cup of that? - Oh, hey, Mike. - It's been awhile, hasn't it? - Yep. - You, me and Tommy hanging out. Dude, grabbing Chimmi's tacos. You remember that? - Yeah, I remember that. - Why don't we hang out anymore? - How can you ask me that? I didn't see... that car came out of nowhere, and ... and Tommy died. That, that's what happened. That, that was it. - Phil, that was a long time ago. - Was it? I mean, look at my life. I swindled money out of Murray, I cheated on Blanche with Teri, I cheated on Teri with Cindy. - [All] Who's Cindy? - I brought donuts! - Cindy! - Aw, thank you. - Chocolate frosted, please. - I have got a - How? How am I supposed to move on with all of this, all the time? -[Wife] What's going on? Who are you talking to? - Um... nobody. - Okay, uh... well, then I'm gonna go shower. - Okay, yeah, I'm, uh, gonna go to work. - [Wife] Okay. - What? - Jerk. - Phil! Phil... - You're a jerk. - it is so hot in here... - These doughnuts are great but you're a terrible person. - Will you turn the A/C on? - Jerk! - Jerk. [ UNINVITED GUESTS ]