4.3 Is It OK To Doubt?

I remember after passing my driving test, I had to give my mum lifts everywhere. I remember on these journeys that she would often ask me a tonne of faith based questions. At that time, I was still working out what I believed. I knew loads about Jesus and the Bible but I had questions about both. Now over time my faith grew stronger, but I have to admit that I have worked through some pretty serious doubts and still do. My mum really wanted me to believe because it meant so much to her. And it can mean a lot to many people in our lives and so, when we struggle with faith, it can sometimes feel like we’re letting them down. But doubt, it’s always been part of faith, and it always will be. It’s natural. It’s real. And it’s something that Christianity embraces. Alright, push me! After Jesus rose from the dead he walked from his tomb and he appeared to his disciples… well… most of his disciples. When they saw him, they were blown away. Their tears of grief became tears of joy. They saw the holes in his hand and in his side. They heard his voice, and their faith was restored. One disciple was not there. His name was Thomas. Over the next few days, the disciples would come to Thomas, and tell him their story, what they had seen, what they had heard and what they had felt but Thomas said: Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe. Too often, when people have been teaching this story, they talk about Thomas in harsh and unfair terms. They call him Doubting Thomas and say that he should have just ‘obeyed and believed.’ But let’s put ourselves in Thomas’ shoes (or sandals!). If you or I lost someone that we loved and our family came to us and said, ‘You’ll never guess what! They are back! They died but are alive again!’, how weird would it be if you just said, ‘Cool.' Immediately, your family or friends would wonder, ‘Do you even care?' Without seeing you would struggle to believe Not because you don't have enough faith but because you have so much love for the person, you can’t risk going through the pain of losing them again, of hoping and being disappointed. I think that’s what happened with Thomas, it was a question of his heart. It wasn’t as if he was anti Jesus, he wanted to see Jesus again and believe again. it’s just he didn’t want to lose him again. And Jesus was so considerate to Thomas. He appeared to him in person and he didn’t criticise him for not believing. He didn’t give him a list of reasons for why he should have believed, he said, ‘Here. Touch my wounds. Touch the places where the nails have pierced’. He gave Thomas the opportunity to believe again, to hope again. I love that Jesus chose compassion over criticism. The God who became man and suffered death for us revealed his scars in order to meet Thomas where he was at. And he also said, You believe because you have seen, blessed are those who will believe without seeing. When Jesus said this, he was talking about us, people today. He was saying he knows how hard it can be to believe, how hard it can be to hope. But I love this encounter and I can relate to it so well. I think many of us can. Jesus set Thomas free from the need to pretend that he had no doubts. He gave Thomas the permission to be honest, to own his doubts, ask the questions and seek the answers. In one sense we can never truly know what Jesus was like as we weren’t there 2000 years ago. But what we do have are 4 historical accounts of his life which speak of his incredible kindness and love. Even the ancient historians of that era back this up. The historians Pliny and Lucian record him as a wise and well respected teacher while Josephus even talks about his wonderful works. Some say that Jesus was just a wise man, a great religious teacher but no wise man has ever claimed to have the authority to forgive sins like Jesus did with the woman caught in adultery. And no wise man has ever known, in advance, the inner details about countless people like Jesus showed with the suffering woman. And no wise man has ever risen from the dead, sought out his most doubting and hurting followers, showed them his wounded hands and feet, and whispered to them and said, ‘Believe me, it’s true’.