We often pray alone. But did you know that we’re not really alone when we pray? As Christ followers, the Holy Spirit is in us from the moment we choose to follow Jesus. The Bible says that the Holy Spirit helps us when we don’t know what to pray about (Romans 8:26). And we are not alone because we are praying to Jesus. He takes our requests to the Father and intercedes for us as well (Romans 8:34, 1 Timothy 2:5-6).
In a spiritual sense, we are never alone when we pray. So the idea of prayer with others shouldn’t overwhelm us. Yet, for many of us, praying with others in a group is easier said than done.
Have you had the opportunity to pray with family, friends, church members or at a Bible Study? Think back. How did you react? You may have leapt at the chance or chimed in a few minutes after prayer started. Maybe you let the silence wash over you as you waited for someone else to speak up, but you didn’t actually get around to praying.
For the majority of my life, I was an extreme introvert. That meant that even the thought of praying in a group, especially a group of strangers (and that meant anyone who wasn’t a close friend) scared me. So, I kept silent.
I’m still an introvert. But over the years the Lord has deepened my understanding of prayer. And he’s deepened my desire to pray and pray for others in public, often through challenging circumstances.
Since 1981, I have served in various capacities and in several countries with Jesus Film Project’s parent ministry, Cru. Today I lead prayer for Jesus Film Project. I would love to share with you what I’ve learned that has changed how I approach prayer. I hope it helps you too.
What Makes Praying In a Group Difficult
Why is it so hard to pray in a group? Perhaps I should ask this question differently. Why is it so hard to pray out loud?
Well, we can be concerned about not being loud enough or not saying the right words. We might have forgotten the prayer request the moment it was shared. Many groups are very big or are packed with people we don’t know well enough.
But I believe there’s one major reason it’s hard for us to pray out loud with others: We are thinking more about others around us than who we are praying to. It’s easier, after all. With the help of the Holy Spirit, we need to think of ourselves and others less and more on Him.
We need to remember that prayer is not a performance.
Jesus says in Matthew 6:5, “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.”
“We need to remember that prayer is not a performance.”
He continues: “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him” (Matthew 6:7).
Here Jesus gives us helpful instructions about how to approach prayer. He makes it clear that it’s not about appearances or big words or seeking others’ approval. Jesus is instructing us to pray for the right reasons.
The Heart of Prayer
Between these two verses, in Matthew 6:6, Jesus does encourage us to steal away to a private room or a secret place to pray. But does this mean Christians shouldn’t pray in public? Quite a few passages in Scripture, including John 11:41-42, lead me to believe that’s not the case. In this passage, Jesus prays publicly before raising Lazarus from the dead. The Bible says:
“So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me” (John 11:41-42, English Standard Version).
Whether we are praying by ourselves, with a trusted friend or in a group, above all things God wants to hear from our hearts. Matthew 6:7 tells us that God already knows what you need, and that implies that He also knows what we will pray about. Yet––and I find this so amazing––He still wants us to pray! He wants to hear us.
God wants us to bring our concerns, our needs, our confessions, our thanksgiving and our praise to Him in prayer. I’m not saying that confessions need to be done in a group, but these are all different types of prayers which the Lord wants us to engage in. And we should do it earnestly, with a humble heart. It honors God to hear the prayers on the hearts of His people.
When we express our need for God and our praises openly and publically, we also set a great example for other believers. In modeling drawing near to God without seeking admiration or validation, we inspire others to draw near to Him in prayer as well.
How We Can Learn to Pray in Groups
So what can we do as we inch our way toward praying out loud? Here are three steps that I recommend to people now that I wish I knew 40 years ago. These are very simple steps you can start applying today.
- Start Small
Start by praying out loud when it’s just you and Jesus. Then with close friends. Then, as you get more comfortable, try it in a larger group. Soon, you’ll be praying in a group as if it were just you and Jesus. - Agree With the Prayers of Others
After someone prays, simply say out loud, “Lord, I agree with that prayer.” This helps break the ice and it is a prayer. - Pray for Courage
Ask the Lord to give you boldness to start praying out loud in a group. He hears us when we pray and He cares––even about your prayer life.
The Power of Prayer Etiquette
Here are a few etiquette tips for prayer. Yes, there are etiquette “rules” you can follow to stay true to the heart of prayer. Following them can really empower your prayer life and help you approach praying in a group confidently.
- Remember that you are speaking to the Lord. Forget fancy words and speak from the heart.
- Be mindful not to monopolize the time. Some say sentence prayers, others paragraph prayers and some chapter-length prayers. Most likely, sentence or short paragraph prayers are appropriate for a group setting. You’ll be glad you didn’t have to think of much to say, and the group will appreciate your brevity. You also end up giving others a chance to pray too.
- Be careful about sharing too many personal details. Of course, what is considered “too many personal details” depends on who you are praying with and how well you know them and trust them. Remember that God already knows everything. You don’t want to devolve into gossip (about others) or regret oversharing (about yourself).
- Try to include other types of prayer. See if you can include less petitions (asking God for things) when you pray. Take time to praise Him for who He is, thank Him for what He has done, and simply listen.
The tips I shared can work for you. I encourage you to give them a try soon. I’d love to read a post from you one day about how praying with others became less frightening. I would be delighted to read that, much like it did for me, praying in a group of people became a regular practice that you are now happy to do whenever the opportunity presents itself.
Additional Prayer Resources
If you’re looking for more prayer tips, check out these 5 Tips for Breathing New Life into Your Prayers, a collection of prayer insights from other Jesus Film Project staff members.
You can learn more about what Jesus had to say about prayer in 3 Lessons on Prayer from the Parables of Jesus. You can also watch a clip of The Lord’s Prayer from our flagship film, JESUS, which is available in more than 2,000 languages. I like to listen to it in a few different languages to remember that God listens to the prayers of every single person in the world, no matter what their language. It fills me with joy!
You can always join us in prayer by using the Jesus Film Project prayer page, which features the prayer needs of some of the world’s nations least reached with the message of the gospel. There you’ll also find our Prayer Experience app. Discover a full list of prayer requests from people all around the world and add your own prayer requests to the board.
